Inventory…

I have always been a person that thinks a lot, overthinks really, but lately I’ve found myself really taking inventory of my life and looking at what I can do to make changes. I am appreciative of the fact that I do hold some privileges and resources. Still, I am still working towards where I really want to be.

Something that I have been learning as I am actively maturing is accountability. In the past I have focused on trying to make excuses or looking for someone else to fault for things in my  life that have gone wrong. I am now at the stage where I realize that it does not matter whose fault it is, it is my life. Regardless of why I did something, I did it. It is for me to face and resolve the consequences. Things can be very overwhelming in situations where you are facing up a proverbial mountain. When you’re up against things that you have no idea how to get out of, it is often easy to just give up or try to hide from it. But I am learning to take accountability and learn to start even if I’m not sure of when I will finish. Better to get going than to hold up the process just standing still.

Life is so many things at once. It can be hard to keep track of sometimes. It seems like every time you put out one fire, here comes another welling up. Every time you get one problem solved, you look at the scrolls worth of problems you have still yet to face. I am starting to understand while continuously taking inventory is so important. It helps you keep track of things as well as keeping you from getting overwhelmed. I am developing more and more ways to address things so that I can develop better habits that will keep me going in the right directions. I’m getting back into my instincts and learning that it is no use sitting around ruminating over every possible choice. I just have to choose and deal with it.

I have taken advantage of my ability to slow down and recalibrate. I know a lot of people are simply forced to keep going. Right now more than ever I want to make sure that I am being guided by things that are going to enable me to have integrity while also being fulfilling. There are so many seemingly small adjustments that I am making to improve things little by little. I have never been a person who has patience for progress. I am learning to take my time on things, but at the same time understand that I can do it. I feel better and better. These posts are a major part of that. I’m pretty much talking to myself, but it is a sign of growth that I would even risk people seeing me in a state that is so vulnerable. I am going to keep coming back. I cannot wait to see my growth in real time. Until tomorrow…