It’s late-early, but we in this thang…
Today’s wonderings took me about the world and how much time we spend in each other’s business. As a person that has spent this year really locking in with myself, I have become more and more curious about people that have a lot of spare time to spend in other people’s business. Now I spend my fair share of time in other people’s business when I’m avoiding my own, however, I feel like the rigors of life hold a level of humility that should have us offering grace to the people around us as we know we need it.
That’s not even it though. I feel like the concept of feeling late in life is based on us adhering to some notion of a timeline. Our own projected milestones make us feel like we haven’t done enough or we should be further along or whatever. However, if we recognize that life is the whole thing, what exactly is the rush. Particularly for me, who will have no children, what am I rushing for? I don’t know how long I have, but spending my life dissatisfied simply because of goals that I feel like I should have accomplished does not seem like a good use of my time. I’d be better continuing to find ways to live the way I desire than writhing in regret because I haven’t made it there yet.
All of the distractions aside, I fear that most people like true value for our lives. The way that people live is actually quite awful. So many people do not seem to have a concept that they are alive for a reason. The ways in which people suffer through life simply surviving shows me that people don’t actually appreciate purpose and the wonders of the opportunities offered by being. Imagine with all of the possibilities there are feeling like all you’re meant to do is stay alive a long time and do what other people say you’re supposed to do. One of my worst nightmares is living a useless, unnecessary life. Just struggling for struggling’s sake until I’m through. I would rather spend all of my days fighting for my dreams than to resign myself to suffering because I’m alive so I guess I’ll just shuffle along until it’s over. That’s is a horrifying way to think.
So many people work hard for lives they don’t even want. Just miserable. Working to live and living to work, dassit. A lot of people just go to work then home five days a week and do nothing on the weekends besides run errands and recuperate. Some might find comfort or satisfaction in that, but a lot of people don’t. For myself, I cannot be satisfied with the status quo. I worked 4 ten hour shifts a week and spent my “off days” gigging to make ends meet. That was a truly miserable existence. That was when I knew I had to take advantage of being single and childless to reset so I can live a life I actually want live. I’m still on that journey, but I would rather struggle to make my dreams come true than to struggle within a nightmare. To each their own, I’m not trying to mind anybody else’s business. However, if you are not happy with your life, might I suggest trying a different one. It isn’t that simple, but nothing is. I don’t know that you can have a satisfying life without having true goals to fulfill. Whether you are 24 or 84, you’re still breathing, you can still try to make some good of life. I’m still trying to find out what happens to a dream deferred. I’m certainly not going to defer it for the rest of my life. I hope other people will get about the business of doing the same. It’s gotta be more worth it than the alternative…
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