Today was pretty cool. I had counseling. Got a new opportunity. Spoked a blunt. Sang riding around in the car. A very solid day.
I was just thinking about how many people are fighting for a world that wasn’t even their idea. They only believe things because they believe they’re supposed to. That’s why so many people get upset when you question them about things because they can’t answer those questions. I’ve realized that belief is anti-thought. You don’t think about things once you believe them to be true. What’s to think about? 1+1=2. Why question it?
All of this stuff is made up, we just prize things that were made long ago over things that people are inventing. It kinda makes sense for the things that still work, but it is ridiculous for all of the things that clearly no longer do, if they ever did. But it seems that a lot of people don’t want to think. I feel like it is perhaps because if you think too long, you’ll know you need to act.
Things have been getting better for me. It has a lot to do with perspective. I spent most of my life looking back and around. I’m finally looking forward. I have been working on myself intently for the last 4 years, particularly the last two. I am seeing the fruits of that labor, not to mention the confidence that comes with keeping up such an effort for so long. I’ve been trying to figure out what I needed to do to be happy and have peace. It has been a whirlwind, but it’s worth it. I was working hard for things that brought me no joy and continuously putting myself through hardships just to prove how strong I was. You know, Black people stuff. I have only recently fully taking up the belief that this is my life and I need to make it or myself in a way that serves me and then enables service through the excess. I’m a work in progress, but I am progressing.
It is National Novel Writing Month. I’ve tried to do it a few times, but could never really stick with it. But I’ve been working on a book for at least the last year that I’m finally ready to put together and put out. I know I have all of the material, I just need to put it together. Then I’m going to release it for free. I can’t wait to really see it. In the mean time, I’ve made it through another day. I’ll see you for another one tomorrow…
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