I keep hearing this nonsense about men cheating as a fact of life. Bull ish! Every fully functioning adult makes their own decisions. Cheating is not something that cannot be helped. It is a choice. You choose to cheat; you don’t just do it because somehow your body gets away from you and does what it wants. Cut the BS!
The bottom line is, if you don’t want to be in a monogamous relationship that’s fine. But do not enter in a monogamous relationship, tell her that you’re gonna be monogamous, and then go out and do the exact opposite. If you’re gonna do what you wanna do, own that. Be straight forward with it. But don’t sneak around and then when you get caught try to blame it on your gender. Stand up in who you are and stand behind your decisions. Give her the option to decide whether she is willing to share you with other women. Don’t dupe her and lie to her and then try to act like she’s so wrong for being upset about it. Don’t act like she should just be grateful for whatever you decide to give her. She should just thank her lucky stars you bother to show up at all. Man please!
Now, if a guy tells you that he has no intentions of being monogamous, you can’t get mad when he follows up on his word. You think you’re gonna change him and once you love him and he loves you that he’ll decide to settle down. No! What do Oprah and Maya Angelou often say? When somebody tells you who they are, believe them. If he tells you that that’s what he is going to do and you carry on with the relationship anyway, you’ve decided to accept it. Don’t be out here crying and talking crazy about him and his other women like he’s lying to you. He told you the truth, if you don’t want to accept it that’s your fault. Take responsibility for what you allow to go on. Don’t make him the villain for what you are choosing to put yourself through.
I personally feel that polyamory is perfectly valid. I think you can love multiple people at once. I do think it’s difficult to carry on a full and committed relationship and have other people in the mix as well, but if that’s what you want, go for it. Relationships are complicated in themselves. Just living your life is a complicated and difficult thing. The more people you add the more complicated it can become. But I do think the sister wife situation can work if the people make it work. However, everybody in the equation must be fully aware and okay with everything. Everybody needs to be getting what they need. If you want to be in a relationship with multiple people, just be honest. Don’t be deceitful and expect not to get a negative result.
The most ironic part to me is that these guys that want a piece of everybody’s cake usually wouldn’t stand that behavior from their woman. They wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of their girlfriend or wife with another guy. They can dish it, but could never take it. A lot of these guys are extremely jealous and possessive.
Go figure! You want her to be little Miss faithful, answer the phone whenever you call, tell you where she is at all times, be at home when you want her to be, and yet, she can’t ask any of this from you. You want her to be in a committed relationship with you, but you don’t want to have to be in a monogamous, committed relationship with her. And there just might be some girl, out there who is cool with that. More times than not, that won’t fly though. So either you make it an open relationship or be monogamous. It’s only fair. Who is she supposed to call when you aren’t answering your phone? But see you’re selfish and don’t care. You want to have your cake and eat a cake. You want to have the home life when you feel like showing up, but then be a bachelor when you choose. That’s not how life goes. You give what you want to receive.
Is it really worth all the stress and drama just for some spare vagina? You want the home, you want the peace, but you don’t give a damn to also provide that for the person that is willing to give it to you? Life is about priorities and choices. Guys are quick to say that losing their home isn’t worth the other chick when their wife/girlfriend is ready to leave, but don’t think about that beforehand. Come on man!
You want that home; take the time to build it. And if she’s willing to give you her all and do what she needs to do for your relationship, it’s not too much to expect the same in return. Sounds like justice to me. I just think that it isn’t even about the other chicks. It’s the power trip. The game playing. Men don’t go out and conquer countries anymore. Instead they go out build their egos on what they can get a woman to do for them and how many women they can collect. It’s about the thrill. The hunt. And I hope it’s worth it. Because when your girl gets sick and tired of being sick and tired you’re gonna need something to fall back on.
Just stop with the men cheat nonsense. Own your actions and decisions. You’re not cheating because you’re a man; you’re cheating because that’s what you wanna do. Just be ready to accept the consequences when they come. Love is not about parasitism, it’s about mutualism. Stay single if you wanna wild out in the streets. And when you’re ready to build something real, find that woman and do it. In the meantime, stop the excuses.
That’s my ish! What do y’all think?